>Years ago, before having children, I would make comments or have thoughts that began with, “when I have kids…” and usually ended with a comment about what I would or wouldn’t do as a mother.
Well, lets just say, that’s gone to hell in a hand basket.
1. When I have a baby, he/she won’t sleep in bed with me.
When I had AH, I was terrified of having her sleep with us because of all the horror stories you hear about parents rolling over on their babies while they sleep. When LD and JD were younger they definitely made their way to our bed from time to time but they weren’t infants so I didn’t have that fear.
At first AH slept in her bassinet right next to our bed and then she moved to her crib…in our room. But she was still nursing in the middle of the night so the ten steps I took to get her out of her crib seemed like an eternity at 1a.m. For the most part she sleeps in her own bed (again, in our room) but when she does wake, I simply go get her and let her snuggle with us. It’s easier for everybody, particularly The Husband, who’s usually none the wiser until he gets up for work and there are toddler toes in his face.
2. When I have kids, I am NOT going to let them throw a screaming fit out in public.
I look back at the me before kids and then think, “Awe, bless you’re heart. You just don’t have a clue.” Because there is no “letting them” to it. The screaming fit just happens. Toddlers don’t ask your permission or think about the consequences. They just wail and scream, sometimes kicking or wallowing on the floor and if you’re super lucky it’s all of those combined. My first experience with this was when JD was about 3 and I was taking him and LD to eat before we went to see the Easter bunny. He wanted Chuck-e-Cheese instead of Chick-fil-A and threw himself of the ground, screaming in the middle of the mall. While I stand by my decision to avoid Chuck-e-Cheese like the plague, I’ve since gotten better about picking my battles.
3. When I have kids, if I have a little girl, I’m not going to dress her in pastel pink all the time and I’m not going to force her to wear headbands or bows.
(The Husband w/AH 2010)
Um, yeah, this one lasted a whole two weeks. She wore much more pastel pink than I had intended and I had strapped a bow to her head by the time she was 10 days old. But how was I to know she’d look so darn cute in it all? And she was nearly bald so I had to do something so people would quit calling her a boy.
4. When I have kids, if they take a pacifier, I will wean them from it by the age of two.
This is one of those battles I mentioned earlier that I’ve decided isn’t worth the fight; at least not now. When JD and LD came into my life, they had already kicked this habit. AH, on the other hand, just turned two and I don’t see her “beebee” going any where anytime soon. Now, in my defense, she only gets it when she’s going to sleep and puts it “night-night” when she gets up. Baby steps, folks, baby steps. If all goes well, we’ll be rid of the pacifier before she’s Suri Cruise’s age.
5. When I have kids, I won’t let them go out in public looking like Pig Pen from The Peanuts.
Let me just start by saying, my kids bathe
when I can force them to regularly. But there have been times when we’ve had to make a quick trip somewhere when they look, well, like chimney sweeps. It’s not a habit of mine but a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do. You know what I’m talking about—light layer of dirt smudges on their cheeks, smell of a puppy dog and have Supermarket Feet.*
(*feet that are dirty on the bottom like they walked around the supermarket without shoes.)
6. When I have kids, I’m going to breastfeed/pump exclusively for the first year.
I have to say, this one was heartbreaking for me. I had every intention of following through. I stockpiled bags in my freezer and pumped three times a day at work (in a supply closet) so she could have bottled breast milk while I was at the office.
But AH was tiny and at her eight month checkup her pediatrician recommended we start supplementing with formula (gasp!) to help her gain weight. Formula seemed like a dirty word to me and I was so determined to reach the goal I had set for us. So, there I was, crying my eyes out in Target, reading every organic formula label I could find. The next day, AH had her first bottle of formula and guess what happened? NOTHING! She lived through it! And we continued to breastfeed as usual only adding the formula in once or twice a day as extra feedings. She didn’t put on much weight like the doctor hoped she would; she’s just going to be a small little girl. But we did make it past the one year breastfeeding milestone, 13 months and five days, to be exact. And yes those five days are worth mentioning.
I’m sure I could come up with a longer list and I’ll probably think of a few as soon as I post this entry. Never say never is so cliché but in my case, so true. You can try and plan what you’d do as a mother, and even stick to most of it. But I’m willing to bet there isn’t a mom out there who has stuck with all the dos and don’ts they set for themselves pre-mommy hood.
But I’m curious, what did you swear you would/wouldn’t do as a mom and how has that changed after you had kids?